A civil union has two definitions. The first is the legal definition in which a partnership refers to living together (of the same or different sex) who are not married. I am interested in the colloquial definition in which a partner relationship is simply a model of how couples function. Ania Przybylska once summed it up in a few excellent sentences .
“Friendship in a relationship is when you can take your girlfriend to a game and see Iron Man with her after the game. When he understands what it means to go out with your buddies today, and when you call in the middle of the night drunk, he’ll give you the number of the cheapest taxi, instead of yelling at the phone that you jerk, sex barrier from today. Friendship is also when your guy does not roll his eyes to another story about the idiot Baśka, he will sometimes help you choose that unfortunate dress and – when you burn dinner – remind you that you have this fucking counter in the kitchen not only from cooking. “
You know, these sentences can be interpreted in DilMil.co different ways, but in such relationships I see a lot of looseness, respect and understanding that even the best-matched pairs are not two halves of one apple. Rather, they are different apples in the same basket.
Having such relationships sounds insanely simple. It seems as if you just make up your mind to make it happen. If you had a gin lamp it might have happened, but usually all we have is a whiskey bottle. In fact, having such a simple relationship is often the culmination of fragile, insincere, and arguing relationships.
In order for a partnership to be possible, there are usually a number of preconditions that must be met:
# 1 Be a partner
This is where you can tell me, “Thanks for being obvious!” But it’s not that obvious. People play different roles in relationships. Women can act like:
- servants who live only for someone else and forget about their needs
- mothers constantly admonishing a thirty-year-old peasant to put on a hat and come home at 10 p.m. because he is going to work tomorrow
- and spoiled little daughters who need care from the evil world.
Guys, mistaken for therapists, ATMs, and teddy bears only for cuddling, also play similar roles.
Is there something wrong with that? Not necessarily. If it serves someone, it is great, but a partnership relationship will not be built that way. By definition, it requires partnership, that is, being on an equal footing, and not constantly being rescued or saved. The union is not a rescue DilMil mission. It is, above all, a prosaic life that you can go through only hand in hand.
# 2 Make a decision
Look at the person you are waking up to from the side and say, “Maybe he is snoring. In the morning it doesn’t look like a newspaper cover. There aren’t millions in my account, but it’s my choice. “
I consider the lack of such a decision to be the biggest mistake that can be made in a relationship. When you don’t take it, you’re with someone because that’s how it turned out. You started talking, meeting and sleeping in a shared bed. You are with each other, but you have not chosen to be with you. What difference does it make? Huge.
When you are with someone by accident, you can pour out your grievances, grievances and expectations on them. When choosing someone, you accept him with all the pros and cons. You find that such a person is OK enough for you and resign from demanding changes from them. Only when you do that, can you move to the agenda that the other person works too much, is too ambitious or not ambitious enough, that he is sticking together models of airplanes or that he likes to read “50 Shades of Gray”. Acceptance understood in this way is St. The grail sought by thousands of men in their relationships .
# 3 Know yourself Partnership
Seduction is first and foremost a touch. A Partnership relationship is first and foremost a conversation.
About the shopping list.
About adopting a dog from a shelter.
How was your day.
But most of all, a conversation about your expectations, what you need and what it comes from.
It would be great if you knew it right away, but mapping yourself is a long process. When you look at how you saw yourself a few years ago, you remember hysterical jelly. Until you become firm, your relationships will be just as hysterical. Mine ex.
# 4 Accept differences – Partnership
I used to think that people are primarily physically different. For several years, however, I have been delighted with the fact that they can look similar, but inside they are powered by completely different motors. Emotion gears jump within them. Hundreds of expectation gears spin around, setting quite different needs in motion.
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It’s completely natural, but we often want other people’s motors to run the same as ours. Just because you have to be ambitious through successive promotions, that doesn’t mean you can’t measure ambition by the number of cool people you are close to. Since you are resting in a wooden house by a lake, it does not mean that someone cannot charge their batteries in one of the European capitals, mistaking night for day. Since you are emotional, he should also say what he is feeling at least five times a day.
There are times when you have to accept that we are different and that if he has told you once that he loves you, until he cancels it, you have to assume that it is still relevant.